We need to have a little talk about poop...
I want to tell you a little story.
When I was about 10 years old I got a pretty nasty stomach bug. You know the ones, nothing sits well in your stomach, it all comes back out from either end but you usually don’t know which. Pretty nasty stuff.
One morning during the worst of my bug I felt the unmistakable rumblings that things were not sitting well at all in my stomach and I was going to be sick again. It was that feeling though where I didn’t know which end it was going to come out so I had to make the gamble.
I gambled wrong.
Yup, at 10 years old I totally pooped myself and my god it was so not fun. Total nasty poop river.
The reason why I’m sharing this horrific moment from my past is to let everyone know the reason why I can be so open about everything, but these types of bodily function stories are usually the things I avoid talking about. It was a highly traumatizing event in my life as a little girl and it stuck. The fact that I’m now about to dedicate a whole entire post to poop I think shows just how important it is to talk about it.
My whole desire for this blog was to talk openly and honestly about what happens before, during and after surgery and this whole area around bathroom…stuff…was something I really couldn’t find anyone talking about at all. I had no idea what to expect and I sure as hell was not prepared.
So, for those wanting it, here’s the whole tea on the situation. For those of you that would really rather stay in the dark I would look away now.
PRE SURGERY.
Before I even started on Optifast I would say I had a pretty normal poop schedule. It happened regularly, was of a normal consistency and only burned like fire when I hit the hella high end of the spicy food scale the night before.
When a gastric bug hit, or like a day before that time of the month came about, it was a non solid flowing river of poop, but outside of those hormonal moments all was good.
When January rolled around and I started on Optifast that was when I started to notice that my daily outgoings were less…firm, shall we say. Living on basically just a liquid diet with only a small amount of vegetables for a whole month understandably changes a lot about your body. It’s just science people. This I was prepared for, I’d done juice cleanses before so knew that when you change what goes in, what comes out has to obviously change as well.
Again…it’s science.
As I hit the night before surgery I started to hit nervous poop and pee status. No matter how many times I went I kept feeling like I still needed to. I’ve heard runners before a marathon get something really similar too. What made it more funny for me is the morning of surgery, I peed several times before I left the house, I wasn’t allowed to drink anything the morning of surgery and by the time the hospital needed a pee sample during my pre surgery prep time, I was dry as a bone. Even more funny though was the non stop feeling that I still had to pee because I was so nervous so picture me kitted out in my super sexy surgery gown, paper underwear, leg cuffs and compression stockings shuffling back and forth from the bathroom like a million times before I went into the operating room.
One thing that had me concerned the morning of surgery was that I still hadn’t pooped. I hadn’t pooped the night before and knowing that I was about to head into surgery had me terrified that the night following surgery, what happens if I find out that was when I needed to poop?
POST SURGERY.
So peeing post surgery. That bit, while slightly degrading to have to have a complete stranger help me sit on a toilet, get up after and ask if I needed help wiping up afterwards (which I didn’t I would just like to point out) was bearable to the point of not being ‘painful’ just uncomfortable.
But…this post really…it’s about poop.
How could something so happy looking cause so much pain and stress.
I spent two nights in hospital and came home mid afternoon 3 days after I had surgery. When I got home, was settled on the couch that required a lot of leveraging myself against the armrest of the couch and pillows on the other side. The fact that ended up being pretty easy to do made the thought of when I had to go to the bathroom at home a bit easier to handle. Because of the set up of our bathroom the toilet is right next to the basin which is at perfect hand support height. It’s my own version of having a safety support rail so we are off to a good start. I didn’t need my mum, or my husband to hold my hand to help me settle on a toilet to pee or poop. At least a hint of my dignity remained intact.
It order to aid my body in surviving what was to come I was on a daily dose of the most horrific tasting liquid laxative. It was so sweet, like honey, mixed with sugar, mixed with a heapin’ dose of diabetes. A week of that, when I was already struggling with anything even remotely sweet, it was pure torture. The worst thing ever.
At least thats what I was thinking. But then it finally happened, the real torture.
One week after surgery I finally pooped.
This was what I had been dreading since even before I had surgery. It was also one of the things that freaked me out when I thought about what it would be like after you have a child. Things are supposedly a big ole mess down there, how could pooping not be a nightmare? So, in order to try and put my mind at ease I researched through other peoples blogs and Instagram journey accounts. No one I could see talked about it. I was going into this area of my gastric sleeve journey totally blind.
It happened in the evening. I was in the bathroom, and for the first time in a week finally felt that feeling that things were moving, but they were moving slowly. Gastric sleeve surgery leads to constipation people, hence the laxatives, and the sudden, abrupt change in diet doesn’t help. I had thought I would feel a HUGE amount of pain in and around my stomach and abdomen. It was sore, but not insanely painful. Holding onto my stomach did help. It was the firey ring of death in my butt that was the real killer. I nearly passed out, I saw stars. I found that I was suddenly sweating profusely and I burst into tears crying loudly. I’ve never given birth before, but I had a sudden idea of the pain my mother went through. I ended up apologising to her that night more times than I could count for ever having to give birth to me because at that point, I finally got it.
It would be safe to say that the first poop post surgery is enough to make you think you’ve actually split the rim of your butthole wide open, graphic I know, but for reals, it’s BAD.
Even the next morning when part two finally occurs it is just as bad and will yet again leave you in tears and feeling nauseous as hell.
So much truth
Once the most painful day has passed, things slowly start to come right. Oh sure you won’t poop everyday for a while because you are eating so little. You begin to learn what a new normal looks like and for the first few surgeon and dietitian check ins you’ll find you talk more about your bathroom habits than you ever have before in your life.
Once back on solid, normal food things will mostly return to normal, except, because you have to prioritise your protein over everything else be warned you could still face times of constipation. Winter casseroles will become a lifesaver in this respect. It is a super easy way to get those good healthy vegetables in that will help keep you regular, without having to sacrifice your protein intake.
It’s a learning process, and thankfully though, that dire first poop situation is now nothing more than a horrible memory in the past I’ve gladly made it through and have successfully moved past.
So…if you are someone that is planning on having this surgery, be prepared, don’t forget the laxatives in that first week, no matter how gross they taste. Trust me, your butt will eventually thank you for it.
